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How Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency Owners Fail: 8 Tips to Avoid Isolating Yourself

What does this ‘isolating yourself’ possibly mean? We have the Internet and phone(s) what else is there? Believe me I get this reaction all the time when I‘m consulting would-be surrogacy and egg donation agency owners. It’s understandable that the Internet, which reaches almost every corner of our world, seems to be more than enough to run a business especially coupled with our cell phone! Not so my friends. In the world of surrogacy and donation being a one man alone show will not work. Soon you will find yourself lost in the ever shifting field of infertility, uneducated and uninformed. (Behind the times!) 

I am not saying that you can’t run an agency by yourself. That is being done at this very moment by several reputable agencies a crossed the USA. What I am saying is that you need to connect with other agency owners, physicians, clinical staff, reproductive attorneys and mental health professionals. Being an island all unto yourself will not work in the long run. 

I know that getting out of your home office is may cost you money and time. Visit clinics? Talk with attorneys? Attend a conference? Why do you need to do that when you can use the phone and internet? The answer is because people tend to trust those whom they meet in person and I don’t mean just once but over and over. It’s human nature. Plus the things you pick up about others when you meet THEM in person is invaluable!

Here are 8 tips to get you out of the isolation rut:

1) Making a few clinic/office visits a couple of times a year in your area will really help your business grow. (You don’t need to bring lunch…brochures and cards are just fine…cookies are good too!)

2) Attending a conference, seminar or workshop at least twice a year and networking while there (My suggestions: START ART, SEEDS and ASRM)

3) Meet with your clients, donors and surrogates in person whenever possible

4) Meet with hospital staff whenever there is a birth local to you

5) Bring brochures and business cards with you to your own personal appointments

6) Practice your ‘elevator speech’ for the next time someone asks you “What do YOU do?” Get use to talking about YOU!

7) Join a business group like the Rotary Club or Ladies Who Launch, (I belong to STARS: Seattle Tacoma Area Reproductive Society, which is local to me) and attend meetings frequently (Even though some of these clubs are not within the infertility field you can network with other business owners and pick up some general marketing tips and make unexpected connections)

8) Join online listservs, Linked IN and Facebook groups and then attend the face to face get together 

You will find that once people see you out and about and connect with your charming personality your network and contacts will continue to grow. Someone who can’t help their client out might just send them to you. Others may want to work with you on a project or invite you to join a board. The more involved you become the more exposure you will get. Trust me…it’s all good! 

How Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency Owners Fail: Unethical Behaviors

If you go down the wrong path you will lose clients, your reputation, your staff and finally your business. If that’s not stating the obvious then I don’t know what is! But lets remember that I am talking about Surrogacy/ Egg donation Agency owners/staff who are dealing with clients who come to them already vulnerable and needing a guiding hand through this family building process. Add to that hopeful women who are excited to help your clients become the parents they have always dreamed of being. The temptation to engage in behaviors listed below can be quite strong. But you must RESIST!

What does unethical behavior look like? Below is a snap shot:

*Anything illegal (This is a no brainer but it has to be on the list and I believe we can think of a recent case or two of baby selling/human trafficking....)

*My personal current pet peeve, using state or federal insurance for a surrogate pregnancy (this is illegal in some states and a huge gray area in others and it seems that most people do not want their tax dollars going toward a surrogacy pregnancy)

*Misleading Intended Parents (“Yes, we have several surrogates waiting to be matched” when you really have 2 and you have 5 IP’s in line)

*Misleading donors and surrogates about how many recipients or IP’s are waiting to be matched

*Misleading donors or surrogates about how long the wait may be to be matched and how long it will be before they get any sort of payment

*Telling donors that the agency have bought insurance for them when really they have not

*Misinforming surrogates or donors about the potential risks or procedures (Shots anyone? Bloating? Weight gain? No sex? Hmmmm)

*Telling Intended Parents that the surrogate has maternity insurance when the reality is there is a surrogacy exclusion on her policy and you are just praying that no one finds out

*”Fixing up” donor profiles by removing family history of cancer, alcoholism, drug abuse, higher IQ, etc. (No one will know! It’s ‘anonymous’ right?)

*Padding the bill

*Holding escrow when you are not licensed or bonded to do so

*Encouraging a surrogate to waive the right to an attorney in order "to save" the IP's money

*Telling Surrogate that selective reduction seldom happens and so just agree to it and other demands that IPs may want her to do

*Not contacting the donor with an IPs further questions…instead just guess at the answer

I could go on. I don’t want to you to think I am totally innocent from all of the above! I held escrow…once! Back in 2003 and it just turned out to be a bigger pain then it was worth. We quickly found a local attorney to hold all of our escrows for us. (Instant relief!) I, myself, have waived the right to an attorney for my second surrogacy (2004-2005)…shame on me because I could have really used some advice about half way through…but that’s called the classroom of life. The other issues that are listed are being done by someone, somewhere, right now. Maybe just one or two unethical practices but still…more then one "someone’s" as a matter of fact. And most are changing their ways…it’s hard to change when you want your business to flourish but if you continue along this unethical path you soon will have zero clients to worry about!

How Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency Owners Fail: Lack of Continuing Education

There is no School of Surrogacy and Egg Donation. (or of any donation for that matter) There are no ‘how to run an agency’ classes out there, unless you hire LaMothe Services, LLC, but that is beside the point. You won’t find any courses offered at your local University or Community College on how to start an agency, run a donation program or serve your Intended Parents. We are just not that mainstreamed yet…sorry to say it. So when I talk about continuing your education I am talking about reaching out, taking the initiative and attending seminars and conferences that will allow you to become more knowledgeable in your field. The field of Third Party Family Building.


A great example is START ART which is an annual REI Nursing Congress. START ART stands for Scientific & Therapeutic Approaches to Assisted Reproductive Technology. (Every August) I found this great seminar about 15 years ago (when it was called SMART ART). It offers CNE’s (Continuing Nursing Education Certification.) Although I don’t need the nursing credits I know that this is a great learning experience for me and my peers.  The networking opportunities are wonderful as well! This is a two and a half day seminar in Las Vegas. Is it worth the time and money! Yes! Do *I* come back to my office with useful information and energized by those I interacted with? Again, Yes! Am I getting paid to promote START ART? NO! But you should attend next year! (I will announce it on my blog. Subscribe so you won’t miss it!)

Another not to be missed conference is the American Society of Reproductive Medicine’s annual meeting in October this year. The ASRM holds an annual meeting every year and as an agency owner you should already be a member. The program is jam-packed with useful sessions and this year it’s being held in Salt Lake City October 15-19th. Because thousands of people from all over the world attend, this is a great learning and networking opportunity! (again, I am not being paid to promote the ASRM annual meeting however I will be attending as usual.)

               

Personally I tend to lean toward the mental health portion of this meeting. I also belong to the Mental Health Professional Group and will be attending their usual Saturday evening welcoming dinner. (Again, meeting people in person where, for most of the year, we might only interact via the Internet). I don’t want to forget to mention Postgraduate Courses on both Saturday and Sunday before the conference.In 2011 I was a part of the faculty focusing on The Psychology and Ethics of Marketing a Mental Health Practice in Infertility with the chair being William Petock, Ph.D. and Jeffery Barnett, Psy.D. It was a very rewarding undertaking!

Another, newer conference is also available via The Society for Ethics for Egg Donation and Surrogacy (SEEDS). This is a nonprofit group created for all U.S. agencies to have a voice in defining a set of ethical standards for egg donation and surrogacy programs. The registration is now open February 26 and 27, 2016 in Long Beach CA. CEs for professionals. Debate, controversy, esteemed speakers, discussion, networking, professional development, shmoozing, fun, food, and more. Go to seedsethics.org, then click on EVENTS to register.

Ok…so is your business going to FAIL if you don’t attend these (or other) conferences? No…you can get by without traveling a half a continent away. Learning about what’s happening in the legal arena, the clinics, and in the ART world of mental health is always educational. But attending these and other seminars and workshops will reassure your clients that you invest in yourself and your agency and are knowledgeable about what is going on ‘out there’ in the field of Infertility today! (Plus you get out of the office! See the world! And meet new people! A win-win situation!)