How Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency Owners Fail: Unethical Behaviors

If you go down the wrong path you will lose clients, your reputation, your staff and finally your business. If that’s not stating the obvious then I don’t know what is! But lets remember that I am talking about Surrogacy/ Egg donation Agency owners/staff who are dealing with clients who come to them already vulnerable and needing a guiding hand through this family building process. Add to that hopeful women who are excited to help your clients become the parents they have always dreamed of being. The temptation to engage in behaviors listed below can be quite strong. But you must RESIST!

What does unethical behavior look like? Below is a snap shot:

*Anything illegal (This is a no brainer but it has to be on the list and I believe we can think of a recent case or two of baby selling/human trafficking....)

*My personal current pet peeve, using state or federal insurance for a surrogate pregnancy (this is illegal in some states and a huge gray area in others and it seems that most people do not want their tax dollars going toward a surrogacy pregnancy)

*Misleading Intended Parents (“Yes, we have several surrogates waiting to be matched” when you really have 2 and you have 5 IP’s in line)

*Misleading donors and surrogates about how many recipients or IP’s are waiting to be matched

*Misleading donors or surrogates about how long the wait may be to be matched and how long it will be before they get any sort of payment

*Telling donors that the agency have bought insurance for them when really they have not

*Misinforming surrogates or donors about the potential risks or procedures (Shots anyone? Bloating? Weight gain? No sex? Hmmmm)

*Telling Intended Parents that the surrogate has maternity insurance when the reality is there is a surrogacy exclusion on her policy and you are just praying that no one finds out

*”Fixing up” donor profiles by removing family history of cancer, alcoholism, drug abuse, higher IQ, etc. (No one will know! It’s ‘anonymous’ right?)

*Padding the bill

*Holding escrow when you are not licensed or bonded to do so

*Encouraging a surrogate to waive the right to an attorney in order "to save" the IP's money

*Telling Surrogate that selective reduction seldom happens and so just agree to it and other demands that IPs may want her to do

*Not contacting the donor with an IPs further questions…instead just guess at the answer

I could go on. I don’t want to you to think I am totally innocent from all of the above! I held escrow…once! Back in 2003 and it just turned out to be a bigger pain then it was worth. We quickly found a local attorney to hold all of our escrows for us. (Instant relief!) I, myself, have waived the right to an attorney for my second surrogacy (2004-2005)…shame on me because I could have really used some advice about half way through…but that’s called the classroom of life. The other issues that are listed are being done by someone, somewhere, right now. Maybe just one or two unethical practices but still…more then one "someone’s" as a matter of fact. And most are changing their ways…it’s hard to change when you want your business to flourish but if you continue along this unethical path you soon will have zero clients to worry about!

How Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency Owners Fail: Lack of Continuing Education

There is no School of Surrogacy and Egg Donation. (or of any donation for that matter) There are no ‘how to run an agency’ classes out there, unless you hire LaMothe Services, LLC, but that is beside the point. You won’t find any courses offered at your local University or Community College on how to start an agency, run a donation program or serve your Intended Parents. We are just not that mainstreamed yet…sorry to say it. So when I talk about continuing your education I am talking about reaching out, taking the initiative and attending seminars and conferences that will allow you to become more knowledgeable in your field. The field of Third Party Family Building.


A great example is START ART which is an annual REI Nursing Congress. START ART stands for Scientific & Therapeutic Approaches to Assisted Reproductive Technology. (Every August) I found this great seminar about 15 years ago (when it was called SMART ART). It offers CNE’s (Continuing Nursing Education Certification.) Although I don’t need the nursing credits I know that this is a great learning experience for me and my peers.  The networking opportunities are wonderful as well! This is a two and a half day seminar in Las Vegas. Is it worth the time and money! Yes! Do *I* come back to my office with useful information and energized by those I interacted with? Again, Yes! Am I getting paid to promote START ART? NO! But you should attend next year! (I will announce it on my blog. Subscribe so you won’t miss it!)

Another not to be missed conference is the American Society of Reproductive Medicine’s annual meeting in October this year. The ASRM holds an annual meeting every year and as an agency owner you should already be a member. The program is jam-packed with useful sessions and this year it’s being held in Salt Lake City October 15-19th. Because thousands of people from all over the world attend, this is a great learning and networking opportunity! (again, I am not being paid to promote the ASRM annual meeting however I will be attending as usual.)

               

Personally I tend to lean toward the mental health portion of this meeting. I also belong to the Mental Health Professional Group and will be attending their usual Saturday evening welcoming dinner. (Again, meeting people in person where, for most of the year, we might only interact via the Internet). I don’t want to forget to mention Postgraduate Courses on both Saturday and Sunday before the conference.In 2011 I was a part of the faculty focusing on The Psychology and Ethics of Marketing a Mental Health Practice in Infertility with the chair being William Petock, Ph.D. and Jeffery Barnett, Psy.D. It was a very rewarding undertaking!

Another, newer conference is also available via The Society for Ethics for Egg Donation and Surrogacy (SEEDS). This is a nonprofit group created for all U.S. agencies to have a voice in defining a set of ethical standards for egg donation and surrogacy programs. The registration is now open February 26 and 27, 2016 in Long Beach CA. CEs for professionals. Debate, controversy, esteemed speakers, discussion, networking, professional development, shmoozing, fun, food, and more. Go to seedsethics.org, then click on EVENTS to register.

Ok…so is your business going to FAIL if you don’t attend these (or other) conferences? No…you can get by without traveling a half a continent away. Learning about what’s happening in the legal arena, the clinics, and in the ART world of mental health is always educational. But attending these and other seminars and workshops will reassure your clients that you invest in yourself and your agency and are knowledgeable about what is going on ‘out there’ in the field of Infertility today! (Plus you get out of the office! See the world! And meet new people! A win-win situation!)

How Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency Owners Fail: Sticking to the No Refund Policy

I know how this sounds…refunding money is never something you want to do but there are times when you have to even if it states quite clearly in your agency retainer agreement that there are NO REFUNDS. We had a no refund clause in our retainer agreement when my partner and I owned Surrogacy Consultants of Florida. However we found out quickly that our policy could not be set in stone.

Before I talk about refunds here I want to make a mention about your income. Intended Parents pay your bills. You are counting on their money to run your program all in the name of helping them reach their dream of parenthood. This is a good and needed service. However, if you mismanage your money, your income, it will come back to haunt you. I work with both large and small agencies and I have found that some live ‘hand to mouth’. Not a good idea. What I am about to suggest maybe hard for some especially if you are counting on living on the income that your agency is providing you. Do not spend any retainer money that comes through your office until your IP’s are matched with their donor or surrogate AND their contracts are signed. Not one penny. Bank it. This money may need to be refunded and if you spend it then where will you be?

Here is my refund ‘what if’ list:

*What if the surrogate/donor doesn’t want to work with the IPs that chose them? (and the IP’s don’t see any others they want and would like a refund)

*What if the surrogate/donor doesn’t pass the medical evaluation? (and the IP’s don’t see any others they want and would like a refund)

*What if the clinic rejects the donor or surrogate for failure to follow medical protocol or other reasons? (and the IP’s don’t see any others they want, don’t trust your pool of GS or Donors any longer and would like a refund)

*What if the Intended Parents have a medical or financial issue of their own and need to back out of your program? (After just a few weeks and they are not matched so they would like a refund)

*What if you find out the IP’s are delusional and YOU want to give them a refund after a few weeks of trying to please them and you see that it’s an impossible mission!?

*What if the donor/surrogate is not mentally able to perform their commitment and back out before contracts are signed? (and the IP’s don’t see any others they want and would like a refund)

There are quite a few scenarios but you get the picture. A refund maybe in order. If you can’t rematch, have a difficult client, someone is threatening to sue unless you do refund, or the surrogate/donor has been disqualified, someone may be asking for some sort of refund. (full or partial) If you don’t have any money in your account then this is the place where your reputation is put on the line. I can assure you that your clients will go on message boards to complain about you and your services, they will call their RE and attorney and they may even bring you to small claims court. Having their retainer money on hand could resolve a lot of problems.

If you manage your income and have a ‘cushion’ in your account equal to at least 3 retainer payments you will rest easier. Remember refunding is a hallmark of great customer service and if you have truly done all you can to make your client happy and a refund is the last resort then just give them the money! You will learn from this encounter and find that refunds are few and far between but less painful when you have the money set aside ‘just in case”.