A picture is worth a thousand words, or so the saying goes. Yet, I’m still surprised when I see some of the pictures that egg donors submit to be published with their profile. Overall, I think the quality of pictures has improved dramatically over the last several years. Or, more to the point,agencies are choosing more wisely when they select which photos to publish.
Nonetheless, there are a few photo problems that happen often enough that I think they are worth mentioning. Most of these issues can be fixed easily without taking away from the integrity of the donors appearance and in fact would make her more appealing to potential intended parents:
1) Red eye, this is such an easy fix with all of the photo packages that come with most computers these days.
2) Blurry images that make it difficult to see what the donor looks like. If that is the only picture you have of the donor you have got to get more or take her off your site until she can supply you with better quality pictures.
3) Pictures with other people in them, try your best to cut out other people. I do before I send them on to my clients to keep from distracting from the donor.
4) If the other people are family members label them clearly
5) Pictures that are too small and that can’t be enlarged by clicking on the image. I love the images that can be enlarged and maintain high resolution. It makes for a much better impression of the donor.
6) Intended parents often object to party pictures where the donor has a drink in her hand.
7) Intended parents also object to the vamping/sexy pictures. You know the ones where the donor looks like she is going to seduce the camera. She should look like a future daughter not like a sex kitten.
8) Think about what is in the background of the pictures. So many donors take pictures of themselves with their cell phone in their bathroom or a messy bedroom or in one case in a public bathroom with a bank of stalls behind her.
9) Obvious tattoos and piercings. We all know these things are not hereditary but intended parents are easily distracted and may make unfair assumptions about the donor.
10) Only use good hair day pictures. We all have bad hair day pictures but do we want them posted? Even if the donor is blind enough to give you the pictures from the day she decided purple hair would be fun if she normally has brown hair leave out Miss Purple Hair, again distracting.
11) Try to have at least one or two childhood pictures along with the current photos. Intended parents like to see the donor at different ages.
Intended parents want to feel like they know the donor since they probably won’t be able to meet her. The pictures should help to tell a story of who this donor is as an individual. If you don’t already you may want to take a few pictures of the donor when you meet her. Let her know that she will be having her picture taken and ask her to apply light, natural makeup and to dress simply in a nice top and jeans in solid colors that complement her coloring. This way you can see her build in a tasteful way and prints will not detract from her face. It may be well worth it to have some professional pictures taken if you are not particularly good at photography. One of the nicest sights has three simple shots of each donor taken at the interview. It is simple, straight forward and tasteful. I find the intended parents respond very well to this sight. While it is nice to have more pictures it is possible to have too many 3-9 good shots are usually ample to get a sense of what the donor looks like.
Gail Sexton Anderson has dedicated her career to helping intended parents from all walks of life to build families. She founded Donor Concierge as a compassionate approach to helping intended parents sort through the gauntlet of egg donor and surrogacy options. Gail has developed working relationships with many excellent egg donor and surrogacy programs, reproductive endocrinologists, fertility attorneys, and mental health professionals specializing in third party fertility counseling she has known and trusted for years.
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